Gin,

There is a strange consequence to being highly capable:

People learn that you can handle it.

So they give you more; and often, you give yourself more too.

You become the person who figures things out. Who can absorb the unexpected. Who steps in when someone else drops the ball.

Competence is a gift.

But unchecked, competence can slowly become an expectation—and eventually an identity.

I'm the one who can handle it.

There is a difference between having great capacity and believing you must use all of it, all the time.

That distinction matters, because I don't think the goal is to make capable women less capable.

I think the deeper work is learning to steward that capacity wisely.

To know when something is ours to carry, and when it is not.

When perseverance is called for, and when continuing to push is no longer faithfulness, but habit. (This habit, by the way, bypasses your intuition and drives dysregulation and exhaustion.)

Where has your competence quietly become an expectation—either from others or from yourself?

Around the Table

I'm spending time right now listening to women who are interested in the community I'm creating.

One of the tensions I keep hearing is some version of: How do I know I'm making the right choices?

Career. Family. Financial responsibility. Calling. Health. Faith.

These aren't problems with easy answers.

And that realization is influencing what I'm creating.

I'm increasingly convinced that the most valuable thing around this table may not be someone telling us the answer.

It may be having the right women beside us while we discern it.

Until next time,

Gin

P.S. – If you are a woman interested in the group I am creating, and you’d like to share your input, book a virtual coffee here.